Poise and Rationality

I give you a matchbox,
On Valentine’s Day,
Not chocolates, nor a rose,
But a plain little matchbox.

You may think it’s unworthy,
A waste of our precious time,
But the sudden light shining on the match,
Is the spark that sets our love aflame.

Matches end too soon, you say,
But there’s always another to light again,
Everyday is a new match,
A new hope for a lasting relationship.

It’s not a pretty sight,
But who said love was beautiful?
Pain burns your flesh as it end,
And you drop it from your clench.

But when you look down on the shrivelled, black mess,
The memories of our love is what’s tainted,
If we’ll ever part…
If we’ll ever end…

I’m actually speechless, trying to find the right words to put this as close to how it was. I went to the stadium at around 3pm, and we waited for about 4 hours for the gates to open. We ran as fast as our bodies could carry us down the steps of Stadium Negara and a few of us managed to get the front of the Pitt, which faced right in front of the stage.

We sat down for a whole ass-numbing hour waiting for Muse to come out, with some light screaming for Muse. The excitement of being in front was starting to get to me, and I was getting a bit annoyed as a cameraman was standing in front of my view of where the bassist, Chris Wolstenholme, was going to be, so I was pretty upset.

9 o’clock. Where were they?? An answer to my question, the lights suddenly dimmed and the fullhouse of the stadium erupted into an ear-splitting roar, and in just a few seconds… there they were. Right. There. A meter and a bit away from me. I was going crazy, and the whole pitt seemed to tear apart as I was slammed onto the barricade trying to keep from being shoved away and holding the camera at the same time. The crowd continued to roar, and Muse started off with Knights of Cydonia. Everyone went mad. Crazy. The lights were a devilish red, in dress code with it was Matt Bellamy, the singing sexbomb.

My intro video was a complete blurr as that was the point of the roughest people, and a girl beside me was screaming very out of tune very clearly into my camera, therefore, you could hear her more than Matt. But that’s only one song. =)

Fists punched into the air in co-ordination with the "Ah, ah ah!" of Knights of Cydonia, the music was deafened away by the voices of all of us, united as one: Muse Fan. "Hysteria" came up next, with Chris standing in the middle and that was when I realized in just one song, I was pushed from standing in front of the drummer, Dominic Monaghan, to the bassist, therefore the cameraman was blocking Dom from my view. Cursed guy. I also realized that my cousin, EJ, who came along to the concert with me was missing from the wave of the crowd but I couldn’t think on it when Matt finally said, "Selamat Petang, Malaysia." which was pretty entertaining, and followed by a few "Terima Kasih!" and "Apa Khabar?"

Some other CRAZY songs came on, followed by Apocalypse Please, Feeling Good and a few other songs from their previous albums. Me and Dullah were getting restless and the moment we had a chance we shouted "Assassin, Assassin!" and believe it or not; they played Assassin. It was so SO amazing, nothing could make me resist tears.

After a while, they ended for a minute, and the crowd was going crazy, screaming and winding up the poor guards and backstage people who had to support the barricade from the other side to stop it from toppling over…. amazing. There were moments when Dominic seemed to be grinning like a hyenna, overcrazed perhaps, and Chris kept his cool head throughout. Matt pointed to the sky as if he was Superman at one point, beckoning us to shout through our hearts.

We had our anti-dehydration crew, who poured water into the mouths’ of people in front [I was one of them]. Then Muse came back on, and cunningly calmed us down with "A Soldier’s Poem" which again, was irresistible to feelings, and everyone were enjoyably failing to match up with Matt’s amazing melancholy falsetto of a voice.

A few more songs, and this half was AMAZING, as all the songs that caught people off their feet and heads unhooked from their necks played on one by one. Supermassive Blackhole, Starlight, Time is Running Out, Stockholme Syndrome [everyone, EVERYONE, went crazy], and Map of the Problematique were those that blasted everyone’s hearts outta their chests! Map of the Problematique was another that me and Dullah screamed for!

Constant "I love Dominic/Matt/Chris" and "I love Muse" were repeated throughout the show. They played a short instrumental which was crazy! A white skinhead walking around [probably their bouncer or something] were egging everyone to jump higher, scream louder, and sing further. This was one of the concerts which every song was sung to. Loud and proud. A sing-along rocker concert that was unforgettable.

"Invincible" was incredible, Matt and Chris’s heart-grasping voices reaching out to so many fans, and brought so many people to tears. Unbelievably amazing. I was so starstruck. I snapped some pictures and videos, but all the videos seemed to go askew for people kept crushing me to get to the front. I appeared in the large screen quite often as the camera guy kept turning to the Pitt where we were standing right in front therefore it always went to us.

Finally, oh I hate that word, finally, they sang a prolonged version of Take A Bow and ended with Dominic getting up from the drums telling us how amazing we are and… "Goodbye."

Though it was quite short, it felt the best ever. Muse, please come back again. Our screams were loud enough to send tremor to the middle of Earth.

Stolen glances, beneath naked eyes,
Dimensional behaviour,
The abstract of attraction,
He was a king of deceit;
Who banished dreams,
She was a cry-out harlot;
painted with mockery,

Darkness, we’d be warned,
Silence, we’d be told,
Laugh, together we shall meet,
Together we shall seek the end,
Flicker the fakeness,
You’ll force me into your dreams,
They will see us scream,

Through the silence of slumber,
Through the darkness of their muted words,
They’ll laugh with blank stares.

Wooo, yesterday was fantabulouslydeliciously awesome. Seriously.

Ok, so hmm Birdy, louise and Jolene came to pick moi up from my place to go to Bird’s place and we just chilled while waiting for their gang to arrive. I got annoyed with my eyeliner in the car but didn’t bother with it later on. I didn’t tell Daryl and Terence I was going [actually I did, but Birdy told me to lie so yeah i lied] so blah blah blah people started coming. Two chi- I mean two girls, Joey and Elaine came first and we’re all like Hi, hi hello, and Elaine scared Louise by playing with her hair even though she didn’t know her…

Hmmm… That was quite disconcerting.

Anyway, the guys came and Terence was all "Wahh, you look so different, blah blah blah [like dude shut up]" and all, and I got introduced to three cool guys: Skantz, Asogaa and Sugen. Theys cool Theys cool. Not as cool as me. I’m cooler.

Anywayyy, we chilled in Bird’s room for a while, though Bird was outside preparing food which was kinda…*sighs*… so Terence went to help her after kissing Asogaa on the lips. Then me and Louise had to do a dare which freaked the guys out, but hey i’m cool so i ain’t gonna say what dare. Duh. I don’t sell myself short thank you very much.

Coz I’m cool.

Me: "Of course, I’m Hot!"

Daryl: "Hot? I thought you’re cool. How can you be hot and cool?"

Me: "Coz I’m cool. Only cool people can be hot and cool. Duhhh."

Well, we moved into Ken’s room where we chilled somemore, and all, and the boys took about 15 mins trying to figure out a dare for me which ended to be to kiss Daryl on the lips and the whole time my mind was going "What a bunch of lame people". Damn, i’m cooler la. Well, I was disappointed [not saying your lips weren't nice Daryl, ok?] coz I expected something more extreme, but hey guys are gay. Birdy told them to ask me to belly dance because she knew that would never happen. Smart girl.

Oh, loulou got very upset because she couldn’t see me kiss him. Something about "ooo’s" and ahhs and all that junk. OK, moving on. We listened to some music and Terence amused me very much with this small convo:

Terence:"Man, i love this room, it’s so…"

Me:"Comfy?" - Terence:"Cosy"

Me and T: "ahhh"

me:"Eh, this isn’t even a room la, it’s like a…"

Terence: "Fine it’s a box."

"Yes a box!"

Don’t ask.. PLS don’t ask. Well, we took some pictures, the picture of the whole gang of guys was really cool, and we took videos of Skantz getting his first cheekkiss to Joey[girl, appreciate it] and she rejected his asking for her number flat. The guys dared me to strip, but I was too cool for that so i didn’t.

I don’t sell myself short ok.

Anywayy, Terence was still helping Birdy with the food [sentimental I tell you, but he was probably just trying to win her parents' heart] and we were still acting retarded. Took some more pictures.

Jolene and Louise came back with the food, and Daryl was begging to gamble, and we were all agreeing but never really managing to get the cards. So we went to eat, I ate very little, and amused the guys with my high pitched sneezes and went for a walk. We went to the playground and Jolene& the guys pissed me off when they went:

"The time Malaysia gets Sex Ed lyk that American thing is when…"

"Celine stops talking about sex!"

Heloooo, Daryl talks more about sex than I do OKAY!!! Pfft. Came back… my brain washed out here, forgot what happened, and then some tiny drama conflict thing began when I was just teaching Daryl how to play Shithead, and Birdy dashed into the room, and yeah NOT going to continue because…well I’m too cool to tell the story.

Had to send Jolene back after 2nd round of BBQ, the whole gang pushed me and Daryl into the car with her [honestly I have no clue what the ass was going on] and Jolene told us a very scary and unnerving story on how she almost got raped [very very interesting], and the stupid guy annoyed me the whole way back by saying:

"Woah, she almost got raped."

-_- Dnngg! Anyway, we lost our way for a bit, so we were just wondering where we were going and he was checking out cars, and Wui Ying was checking out houses. Hmmm…

Got back home, were about to gamble, and Uncle Brown manage to convince my mom i could stay overnight which was cool. Terence and Daryl had begged their mom to pick them up from 6[was it six?] to 8, then 8 to 9 then 9 to 10 then 10 to 11, but the momma said no 10:15 the latest…

Why 15, it’s right in the middle of nothing? Hmm, odd. Anywayy, we were JUST about to start gambling in the box but then we wasted ten minutes trying to figure out where’s a better place to gamble so we went to the living room, was too cramped, wondered again, went to the study below the box, and some people went out for what, only god knows, and by the time they returned, Daryl was at the point of devastation as the gambling had to be cancelled [laughing my ass off].

Oh Wui Ying had her side of fun too, with the amusement of laughing at every single thing Daryl said and did. Hmmm…

I’m so cooler.

Well, the departure of D and T was very abrupt which made them very uncool, and I think I’ve annoyed the guys enough with the word cool to give them nightmares. Then we gambled [hahaha in your faces!] and I won some moneh. Great great. Then I showered, and talked abit in bird’s room, and then…we slept. =)

Did I leave anything out? Hit me back if I did. =)

x - Cooler girl.

PS: Asses snore: because we’re cool.

OH MY GOD! I forgot to add the chilli padi bit. Anyway Terence, the naughty guy go and drop his half a heart on the floor, and his bro picked it up and we were like laughing because he said it looked like a chilli padi. Yeah. That wasted about 5 minutes of the night’s time for no darn reason. hmmm.

Oh dear, i seem to have forgotten a huge amount of things! Yes yes, Thanks Daryl, for reminding me, it started when I was in Birdy’s room with Daryl and Terence and Wui Ying, and we were all just talking about random things like music, dimples [haha] and all those stuff, and I jumped from "I’m cooler" to "tsk aaawwww!". I have a feeling I enjoyably annoyed a few people with it. It was funny. But no, I didn’t stop with I’m cool.

Coz it’s hard to resist stating the obvious. =P

Like a skull within the flesh,
Like the dirty secrets within,
I shall dig and search, beseech the truth,
In myself I shall find,
In myself I shall plead,
Of joy and relishing,
I shall plead.

I will break within my bones,
I shall writh within the grasp,
Of struggle and wrath,
I shall writh.

I will get away from the fear,
I shall stop the pain from flowing,
A diminuendo of time,
I shall seek the halt of life,
Of glory and betrayal,
Of mind and soul,
I shall seek the halt of life.

- Celine Belli

These past few weeks were down, down below the surface for me. I kept slipping out of my mind, slipping in and out of time, concentrating on not concentrating, oh my god it’s been driving me up the wall. Mind blockage was constant, I don’t even remember things I lost. How I lost them, there’s no need to explain my memory of it. I really hope I can find my precious precious HP. Yes I lost it. But I DO know where I left it… but i was SO SURE I brought it back. Yet as sure as I can remember leaving it in Maths…

Geez. The two way fork in my mind does not help me.