Poise and Rationality

I thought it was beautiful,
Touching my grandmother’s hair,
I once thought it was beautiful,
Until it reflected back upon myself.

Talking with the rhythm of the rain,
The sad drizzle acknowledging me,
Maybe my uselessness to the world?
The sun now feels too new on my skin,
Am I shrivelling up, like a prune, a raisin?

And I thought I knew everything.

No, life isn’t just about righteousness,
No, life isn’t always about perfection,
If perfect was I, then what are these,
These color of age dyed upon my head,
Relentless lines increasing on my once flawless face,
Maybe, just maybe, I’ll ask my children,
Did I spend just a little too much time worrying?

A little too late,
Now I spend the days,
Telling non-existent tales to the small eyes of innocence,
Now will these eyes grow up to change to rage,
Envy, pain or greed?

The only satisfying thought is it won’t be me.

Oh yes, I’ve lived a satisfying life,
A job, two children, and a passed on wife,
Now I’m living on my last resorts,
From my money, money enough to last,
And what else have I learned in life?

Is this what they call having lived life through?
Is this what they call having seen it all?
Then why do I still feel like I’m searching for more?

I feel emptier than I felt seventy years before.

Everyday, I tell tales to revive,
Everyday, every memory will just slip by.

Maybe believing you owned the world was much better,
Than believing you owed the world.
Maybe the foolish young heads up in the clouds,
Aren’t as foolish as us who spend days
regretting,
stressing,
and counting down minutes.

We don’t even connect,
The world and I,
I have yet to befriend the world as it is now,
With the chaotic sounds of gunshots and cries,
Do I really have to?
Do I?

Will it make any difference to who I am now?
I don’t even know where I stand in life now.